"Its a new Journey"
You know whats funny I hate people knowing what I really want to say. If that makes sense. I also don't think I say the right thing or say it right. Maybe that's just me being self conscious. But I think this will be good for me what I am about to do. Cause I need an outlet even if nobody watches or listens or even cares. I just need something so………
Starting today I am gonna right a journal of what I do wear and stuff like that. Not sure how deep I will go not sure where it will lead but I wanna be able to look back and say I went somewhere. I can show you my life see here it is look. So here i begin something that i hopefully will finish.
Now i will start with a quote
"Most people have come to prefer certain of life's experiences and deny and reject others, unaware of the value of the hidden things that may come wrapped in plain and even ugly paper. In avoiding all pain and seeking comfort at all costs, we may be left without intimacy or compassion; in rejecting change and risk we often cheat ourselves of the quest; in denying our suffering we may never know our strength or our greatness"
-Rachel Naomi Remen
Today I got up being the lazy person I am did not take a shower. I felt though my eyes would never open. I am taking a new medication for my anxiety disorder and it makes me so tired. I still don't know if I will take it or not I guess when I take it tonight I will see how I feel. I know the second time I took it I could not stop moving my arm and neck. I felt I could not slow down I could not rest. My boyfriend just felt sorry for me even though I thought he was mad at me for keeping him up. He does not get that much sleep either and with me acting strange it just puts more stress on the sleeping habits for both of us.
So I brushed my teeth and headed out. My tummy was hurting so bad that I almost did not go to work but now I am glad I did. We went to the MCe-dees by my work (we go there every Friday it's a ritual of some sort) and I got my usual coffee and egg and cheese biscuit. Got to work kissed my boyfriend good bye and went inside for a boring day. Nothing really to do just sit here at my desk. I did a lot of data entry stuff but that was it.
Still thinking of my Holiday party coming up though. I got the stamps I got the cards now I just got to remember to send them off. Jeesh I am so bad at remembering things. I wish my mind worked better. You know I could just keep focused and get one thing done at a time instead I run around like an idiot doing many things and trying to get them all done at once but then end up not getting anything done. I guess you could say my mind gets distracted.
I hope this weekend is good. I feel though I am not going to be doing anything. I never can sit still been that way all my life. That's why I hate movies you have to sit still for like three hours and that is just impossible for me. I am more of a show person its on its over there ya go. Then I can flip to something next. Which I cant watch commercials I am always flipping the channel on the remote brian hates that. That's my boyfriend if you did not know Brian.; ) He is always like stop with the constant channel surfing.
So I guess that's enough rambling for today. I will tell you how the meds work out. I don't think its going to be good. But anyways good luck peace out bitches
Love always Nicole
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